Trippy Picture wins #MCNoz2017

This year we teamed up with Brapp to give one MC the chance to perform live at the festival. After some deliberation from High Focus Record’s Dabbla he has decided to crown Trippy Picture as this years winner. He will join the likes of Goldie Lookin Chain, General Levy, Ocean Wisdom, Levelz, MC Eksman and Rodney P & Skitz.

Watch his entry below…

Trippy Picture – real name Ben Evans – started writing bars in school at age 14 after being inspired by poetry lessons, since then he has performed all around the UK and now he’s coming to the farm for his first UK festival performance. Make sure you catch his performance on the Garden Stage at 3.55PM on the Friday!

Who are you recent influencers?

Lowkey, Mr Key, Aesop and Jam Baxter and U.K. Hip Hop in general. Anything with a crazy rhythm or hard content or perferably both.

What’s your favourite track right now?

I have recently been listening to Homeboy Sandman recomended to me by Zhubat which has been pretty inspiring.

What three things can’t you live without at a music festival?

Good people, good music and good food, everything else is a bonus really.

1 week to go: are you ready?

Kids, Ladies, Gents, open the doors to the Hidden Valley, let the imaginary become real. Dali’s melting clock is ticking and that can only mean one thing: “7 DAYS TO GO!” Look up to the grass, down to the sky, just across the house, embrace phantasmagoric moments, dreams or nightmares, and don’t forget to remember, or remember to not forget… Surreal good times await.

We know you can’t wait to pitch your tent, sup from your first cool drink and have a look around so have a read of the below to make your arrival to Nozstock as easy as possible…

TICKETS & ENTRY

  • If you’re aged 16 and under you will need a parent/guardian aged 21 or over accompanying you, otherwise we won’t be able to let you in.
  • Please, please, please don’t forget to bring a form of identification with you. Nozstock might be an escape from reality for the weekend, but you will need to present ID if asked to do so.
  • Print and check you have the correct tickets, if you have any queries our ticket team are on hand to help answer them  – tickets@nozstock.com.
  • Your tickets should have barcodes on them so you can get scanned and recieve your wristband on entry. We recommend you book parking in advance to make your access quicker and smoother.
  • Pedestrian gate opening hours for the weekend are…
    • Thu 20   –   17:00-23:00
    • Fri 21      –   09:00-23:00
    • Sat 22     –   10:00-22:00
    • Sun 23   –   10:00-17:00
    • Mon 24  –   Closes at 13:00

TRAVEL

  • Not managed to find your chariot to get here? Fear not, there are plenty of ways to get to Nozstock from our excellent bus services to GoCarShare where you can make new friends. Visit our transport page and remember to travel safe!
  • All aboard the Noz Express! Save your money and our planet by travelling on our coaches.  Book your tickets from Hereford, Worcester, Bristol & London here

GREEN INITIATIVES

  • Nozstock is held on a working farm – please help us keep the cows happy and respect our community.
  • Don’t forget the clean campsite competition judges will be awarding our cleanest eco Nozzers on Sunday at the Bandstand!
  • From Sunday afternoon our lovely green team will be collecting any donated items that you can spare from camp, that you’d like to share with People in Motion… these will be sent out to refugees across Europe.
  • Bring a full bag of rubbish to our litter station on the Monday morning after the festival, along with your barcoded ecobond ticket. As long as your bin bag is full and your ticket can be scanned you’ll be returned the £5 ecobond you bought with your ticket. Bags containing bottles or cans will not be accepted. These items should be placed in our recycling bins.

GENERAL INFORMATION

  • Although Nozstock is a family friendly festival, sadly, like many festivals, a small amount of tent thefts do occur each year. Check out our anti-theft tips on how to try and avoid theft!
  • Register your belongings to Immobilise to improve the chances of getting your stuff back if unfortunately it does go walkabout.
  • Festival Lost Property is located in the Information Hut in the main campsite and is open 24 hours. Please hand in anything you find, there is no better feeling then being reunited with your once lost items.
  • First Aid is located in the main campsite, near to the main gate, look for the British Red Cross!
  • Look after yourself and your fellow Nozstockers! Check out our top tips to stay safe.
  • Check out our Rules & RegsFAQ and Accessibility pages and our Site and Festival Maps.
  • For further practical information please visit here and to remind yourself of our superb line up check here.

Remember, most of all to be lovely to each other. We have an unusually wonderful atmosphere at Nozstock and that’s down to the quality of you guys, our clientele. Look after each other, keep an eye out for your neighbours, communicate with our teams about any concerns or suggestions you have, and we’ll all have the best weekend known to man!

 

Lady Chann Q&A

The ferociously fast chatting Chanelle Williams a.k.a Lady Chann is responsible for bashment classics such as 2009’s ‘Your Eye Too Fast’ and 2010’s ‘Sticky Situation’, which earned her plaudits from The Guardian and Clash. Ahead of her performance on the Garden Stage we caught up with her for a little chat.

How did you get into performing?

I studied performing arts in college

Who are your current influences?

Lady Saw, Lady Patra, Beenie Man, Bounty Killer, Vybz Kartel, Lauren Hill, Beyonce, Stormy, Double E, Busy Signal….those are mainly my staples….the list add i’m sure there’s more.

Three festival essentials you can’t live without

Plastic bags, wet wipes and snacks

Which acts do you look up to and why?

Difficult one, because I’m still influenced by the oldies…but i’d have to say Beyonce, her work ethic is amazing and stage show presence, so i definitely have learned over watching her through the years good ways to perform.

If you could collab with any artist who would you pick and why?

There’s loads, from Stormzy to Dj Khaled to Busy Signal…and whoever else in between lol!

I saw you in Berlin lasty ear as part of The Bug’s new albumn launch when can we expect some of that to drop?

Yes we have  a track or two in the works. so staaaaaaand by! 🙂

Most embarrasing festival moment

Haven’t really had one tbh, but the only closet thing I can think of is last year at Glastonbury just before I performed, it was so full of mud , that me and my friend pulled up in a nice BMW, and got stuck and then had to await to be retrieved. THEN also enroute walking to the backstage area, my trainers got caught in the mud and my agent had to piggy back me to the stage with my trainers in my hand! Looool!

THEN! when we were leaving Glasto, myself and my mate got stuck in the mud AGAIN and the jeep unit who came to help us, THEY got stuck, and the van that came to help them? THEY got stuck.. and we met about 6 nice lads that ended up pushing our car out of the mud at 6am

All paths lead to the Hidden Valley!

Nozstock adventure time is nearly upon us! Have you figured out how you’re getting here yet? Fear not brave traveller! For we have made it super easy to find out your travel options to make your journey as smooth and hassle free as possible!

Nozstock is tucked away in the magical green rolling fields of Herefordshire, just a stones throw from the picturesque market town of Bromyard, and there are plenty of easy ways to get get here.

The smuggest way to get here has to be by car sharing – not only do you get to split the cost of the fuel and car parking ticket; meet fabulous new festival buds en route; and score green points for the planet; but you could also be in with a chance of winning a pair of free tickets to Nozstock 2018! All you have to do to be in with a chance of winning is offer or request a lift through the Nozstock GoCarShare car sharing webpage!

We are also running coaches from major train stations in Hereford, Worcester, Bristol and London to make linking up with public transport that much easier.

Thursday 20th July 2017

7pm – from Hereford Train Station (£6 advance)

8.30pm – from Worcester Shrub Hill (£6 advance)

Friday 21st July 2017

10am – from London Kings Cross St Pancreas (£18 advance, not available on the day)
10am – from
Bristol Temple Meads (£16 advance, not available on the day)

10am – from Hereford Train Station (£6 advance)

Monday 24th July 2017

10am – to London Kings Cross St Pancreas (£18 advance)
10am – to
Bristol Temple Meads (£16 advance)

11am to Hereford Train Station (£6 advance)

12pm – to Worcester Shrub Hill (£6 advance)

Book your coach tickets here. Advanced booking is advised and children under 13 travel for free (although a seat must be booked for them).

There is a free (yes free!) shuttle bus service that runs between Bromyard and Nozstock approximately every 20 minutes for the duration of the festival’s opening hours. The shuttle bus runs from the Pump Street bus stop in town, to the Conquest Theater car park, to the drop-off point at Bromyard Rugby Ground and on to the festival site.

Local bus services run from Hereford and Worcester to Pump Street on Thursday, Friday Saturday and Monday, so all you have to do is wait there for the free Nozstock shuttle bus to pick you up and take you on site. Check out the local timetables here.

You can even ride your bike to Nozstock! Plan your route using Bike Hub’s free route plannerand soak up the glorious countryside on your way. Cyclists will find a warm welcome and secure bicycle parking by the wristband exchange.

Find full details of all your travel options and that all important postcode here!  http://nozstock.com/about/directions/

Remember if you are driving to Nozstock you will need to purchase a parking pass if you haven’t already done so. 

What’s on at the Wrong Directions Cinema…

The Wrong Directions Cinetent is hosted by local experimental collective MASH Cinema, and is the destination to experience all things audio-visual.

This year’s theme ‘Keep It Surreal’ gave MASH Cinema the nod to push their weird genre hopping programme to the max, treating us to an eclectic mix of cinema classics, artist moving image, short film programmes, retrospectives, documentaries, AV performance and random happenings.

Each morning starts with family friendly classic cartoons and films, this year featuring a kids’ mix from BAFTA award winning writer/ illustration duo The Brothers McLeod (who also provide a late night version for grown-ups too!)

[Trailer for The Brothers McLcLeod]

The mornings make way for an afternoon programme of thought provoking documentary, feature films as well as cinema classics such as Man With A Movie Camera. Made in 1929, this unclassifiable film is the work of pioneering Soviet experimenter Dziga Vertov. Ranked number 8 in the BFI 50 Greatest Movies of all Time list!
At 7pm the tent switches to night mode, and only admits audiences aged 18 and over. The programme gets more experimental featuring shorts from the likes of Plink Flojd and Jonathan Gillie, as well as short documentarys like Secondhand Sureshots which features producers J-Rocc, Daedelus, Nobody, and Ras G.

[Trailer for Secondhand Sureshot] Make sure to catch live polyrhythmic eyeball bubblebath performances from Hereford based Mynydd Poly, as well as dark menacing electronica from Ferric Lux.

If that wasn’t enough, head over on Saturday morning for the under 7s rave, and then assemble your team for the Loopy Christmas Festive Film Quiz on Saturday afternoon.

“Open throughout the whole weekend, the Wrong Directions Cinetent is an audio-visual sanctuary for the weary traveller. Re-energise your mind with informative and provocative documentaries; immerse yourself in cinema classics; reset your cultural compass with an array of quality shorts; and be hypnotised by an eclectic selection of experimental works. “

Some of our must see’s below…

FRIDAY

11:00 Ну, Погоди!

12:00 Gulliver’s Travels

13:15 The Brothers McLeod – Kids Mix

16:40 Future States – Plastic

Bag

17:00 Of Oz The Wizard

20:10 Blank Tape: Electronic Cassette Culture

Electronic Art

01:15 Banana M*therf*%>£r

SATURDAY

10.00 Pink Panther

12.45 Star Wars Uncut

15.55 Yoda – Do or Do not

22.45 DJ Cheeba’s After School Special

23.55 Dismaland – The Official Unofficial

01.00 Ferric Lux (Live AV)

02.05 Plink Flojd Selection

SUNDAY

11.20 The Brothers McLeod – Kids Mix

11.50 The Evolution of Yo-Yo

12.00 Raiding the Lost Ark

16.00 Return of The Jedi – Making Of…

21.50 Angela Stempel Selection

Gardna Q&A

Gardna has been embraced throughout the UK bass scene for his heavyweight live performance where he flows over a concoction of traditional reggae and dub vibes propelled by a variety of current break-neck beats. After several years of having to use fake ID to enter clubs to perform, Gardna has gained his pass into the UK nightlife but is still a young talent.

Despite this he has shelled it down at some of the biggest events in Europe including Outlook and Boomtown. His music is a combination of styles that are born from sound system culture. He works with a variety of producers and writes sharp, conscious lyrics with an infectious, melodic flow.

Ahead of this years festival we got the chance to ask him a few questions…

How long have you been MCing?

I first started trying to spit bars out with the kids hanging around outside the local Sainsburys in the town I grew up in when I was about 12. We’d be trying to slew one another over the latest grime instrumentals that we’d been Bluetoothed on our Sony Erricson walkman phones. I’m 22 now and looking back we were all terrible but you’ve gotta start somewhere don’t ya!

How did Boom Sound Recordings come about?

Myself, Jack Fat Stash, Adam ASBO Disco and James Wonka where all working together at our old office space in Hamilton House, Stokes Croft. They were all doing work for the agency work for Boom Artists but we’d all just hang out there throughout the week and bang out ideas. Artists like myself on the agency started collaborating with one another, great music started happening and we just had to release it ourselves. We couldn’t just give it away.

What are your three festival essentials?

  1. Peach Ice Tea & Havana Club Rum
  2. Wavey Sunglasses
  3. STICKERS! (come find me)

Most embarrassing festival moment?

I think that’ll be the time I fell asleep a few hours before my set and got sabotaged with a permanent sharpie pen. I hosted this huge Jungle b2b with Benny Page, Aries, Marcus Visionairy, Kelvin 373 and more with a massive you know what on my face, obviously nobody told me. The photos are horrendous!

If you ran Nozstock and had to pick three headliners who would you pick?

Depends where we where but.

  1. Chronnix
  2. Bonobo (live)
  3. The Internet

When you’re not making music what are you doing?

Gigging the music. I don’t stop I swear. Always up to something. But apart from that, eating good, drinking good, just gernerally living good. It’s alright here in Bristol. There’s always something on, i’m forever going out to events to get my inspiration for lyrics and live shows. It’s cool.

Have you been to Nozstock before? If not what are you expecting?

I came for an evening a few years ago with The ASBO Disco, it was short and sweet but I am well excited to come back this year with the label and spend some proper time at the festival. Can’t wait to get stuck in.

Ferocious Dog Q&A

Ferocious Dog are a full-on six-piece band that encompass folk infused with rock, reggae and Celtic vibrations. The combination of instruments creates a palette of sound that offers infinite variations: going in hard to get the audience up and moving, or slipping into melodic passages and dub-like fusions.

From playing Glastonbury in front of a massive crowd, to sharing the stage with The Levellers on their European tour, Ferocious Dog left the audience under no doubt that they had witnessed a band that has the talent and passion to go on and dominate the folk/punk music scene.

With European tours booked for 2017 and slots at some of the UK’s favourite festivals, we can’t wait to welcome them down on the farm and ahead of their performance we asked them a few questions….

If you ran your own festival, who would you pick to headline and why?

Ken Bonsall said Friday night House of Pain, Saturday night Rancid, Sunday night Levellers because these are 3 of my favourite bands

What are your 3 most essential items for a festival?

Beer. Beer carrier. Cheese and hp brown sauce cob

Do you have any embarrassing festival stories?

Trying to stop Les carter aka Fruitbat from drunkenly gatecrashing the Avalon cafe stage while a band was playing. But it turned out in the end that he knew the band who were Flipron

What is your best memory from a festival?

Seeing Dans face at Glastonbury ’92 coming out of the Carter USM mosh pit at 12 years old.

It was a picture

What was the first festival you went to? Tell us about it.

Glastonbury 92. Main reason we went is so Dan could see the Levellers for the first time and so we could all see Carter USM

Highlight of your career so far?

Selling out Rock City on our first attempt and making history as the first unsigned band to do so in its 35 year history. And it’s our home town of Nottingham which made it extra special

Hazard Q&A

Originally hailing from Birmingham, and responsible for the most intense tracks the drum and bass world has even heard, we are so excited to have DJ Hazard tearing it up at this year’s festival!

With releases dating back from 2001, which include anthems such as: ‘Time Tripping’; ‘Bricks Don’t Roll’; and ‘Mr. Happy’, to name just a few. No party is complete without these dark, chaotic and pure genius tracks.

As well as being a producing mastermind, DJ Hazard’s DJ sets display what a highly seasoned and creative DJ Hazard really is. Prior to his highly anticipated performance at this year’s festival, Hazard has taken part in a Q&A with us, so we can get to know the Jump Up phenomenon a little better.

What three things can’t you live without at a festival

My car, an escape plan and a bottle of water!

What is your most embarrassing festival memory

There was one festival where I was playing an outdoor stage and it was chucking it down. I was really worried about getting electrocuted so was standing as far away from the decks as possible, trying not to touch too much – it definitely looked a bit embarrassing I’m sure.

What is your most memorable performance to date?

Definitely Boomtown with Hype last summer. It was unreal.

If you had your own festival what three headliners would you pick?

Bryan G, Randall and Brockie.

What is your favourite song at the minute?

Any Taxman tune, he’s on fire right now.

When you’re not DJing what are you doing?

As little as possible. I’m very good at watching TV.

If you could collaborate with anyone who would it be?

To be honest, nobody – I hate working with other people in the studio!

Your tunes have become recognised all over the world, how does it feel seeing and hearing other DJ’s playing them to 1000’s of people?

At first it was really good, but now they’re just playing old tunes because I haven’t released anything for a while so the novelty has worn off a bit. Perhaps that’s the kick up the arse I need to get some new music out?

Kasra – Q&A

Ahead of this years festival we caught up with Kasra, the founder of Critical Music, for a chat about the history of his label. Founded 15 years ago in London the label is widely regarded as being at the forefront of the modern underground drum and bass scene.

“Kasra is a gatekeeper to what is under the surface in drum & bass. He does what he does with passion and care. He is a kindred spirit.”
Goldie, Metalheadz

How did Critical Music come about?

I had been a long time fan of the genre and was hearing more and more music by unsigned/new producers. I wanted to get involved in the scene so decided to try my hand at running a label.

When did you know or feel that your label had become a staple in the Drum & Bass scene?

I wouldnt like to say, i suppose thats for others to acknowledge. We’ve been doing this quite a while now and i think its something we are good at, we just keep on doing our thing.

What is your most memorable performance to date?

Probably our MainStage takeover at Boomtown last year or my first set at Glastonbury.

When you’re not making music or DJing, what are you doing?

Overseeing the running of the label, spending time with my girlfriend and friends or thinking about music!

Which artists do you look up to and why?

Anyone who sticks to what they believe in.

What is your favorite tune atm, apart from your own?

Probably a forthcoming Critical tune called “Blej’ by Halogenix.

What are your future plans for Critical Music?

This year is a big one so focusing on the releases in the forthcoming months including our 15 special anniversary album.

What can we expect for ’20 years of Critical’?

Ask me in 4 years when i start thinking about it !

What three things can you not live without at a music festival?

Sun Block (even in the UK) , inlfatable mattress (if camping), the missus

Do it for the cows!

For most of the year the lush green rolling slopes of Nozstock are home to a herd of hungry Hereford cows, who are always eager to get back into their fields after the festival. With this in mind we like to do our bit to preserve the land and last year we were lucky enough to win a bronze Greener Festival Award.

So what have we introduced this year you might be asking? Ladies and Gentlemen please be upstanding as for the first time we have introduced a £5 eco bond to help us keep the site even more clean, green, and cow friendly.

How does it work? You will be given bin bags when you arrive, fill up a bag of recycling or rubbish bring it down to our new cecyrcling centre to sort on the Sunday afternoon or Monday morning and you will get your £5 back. Simples!

Our clean campsite team will also be coming round to meet everyone and provide some gentle words of encouragement. Clean campsite judge, Cydney, said, “The campsite is a collection of little communities and we will be visiting your area to check out the friendliness and cleanliness of your crew. There are some great prizes to be won and you can extra points for recycling, decorating your area and showing us any special skills.”

We are also introducing a new clean campsite award this year – The Neighbourly Award. Clean Campsite judge Cass said, “The Neigbourly award celebrates the finest in human compassion and good will. We will be looking for tales of those who have reached out and helped their Noz-door neighbours”

So we will be asking you to “do it for the cows!” and you might just get a pat on the back for picking up your tat!

There are plenty of other opportunities to help green-up the festival; have you considered how you are getting to Nozstock yet? Check out our travel page for buses, lift sharing, and more!

If you are coming by car, why not offer up any spare seats through the GoCarShare website – by offering a spare seat, or by putting in a request for a lift on the site you could be in with a chance of winning a pair of tickets to Nozstock 2018! Alternatively Coaches are running from key locations including London, Bristol, Hereford and Worcester.

This year there will also be a reuseable cup scheme at the bar. Pay a pound for your first cup and you can get a fresh clean cup every time you bring it back to the bar.

Read more about how were keepin’ it green at Nozstock 2017

Uncle Dugs Q&A

The ever popular Jungle guru, Uncle Dugs, returns to Nozstock to grace The Cubicles for the fourth time, so we thought it was time for a little chat…

Uncle Dugs is the award winning best Jungle DJ of 2013 who also presents the only legal daytime Oldskool / Jungle radio show in the whole world known as #RCFF (Run Come Follow Friday) on Rinse FM. Expect ‘vibes 4 miles’ from the UK’s newest old skool legend.

If you ran your own festival, who would you pick to headline and why?

Thats a really tough question,,,, errrrrrrrm,,,, I guess if it was only allowed to be one person then I’d have to go with Dr Dre, Snoop Dogg, Eminem and that Tupac hologram (and a Biggie Smalls one as well) or Stevie Wonder or ACDC or an Oasis reunion. Ask me again in 10 minutes and i’ll probably give you another bunch of names lol

What are your 3 most essential items for a festival?

For me personally its my music, my mates and a smile

Do you have any embarrassing festival stories?

Nothing that jumps out although saying that has probably just jinxed me for this years festival season.

What is your best memory from a festival?

Ahhh man there is so many, Last years Hidden Woods set at Boomtown was amazing, playing the Rinse stage for Bestival in 2011 which was my first big festival stage booking, getting everyone to give Noz a massive cheer when we got him out the front of the stage in the Cubicles a couple of years back, to be fair every festival has a golden memory attached to it, something funny / special happens at every single one.

I must admit though one of my favourite non music memories was a couple of years ago when I played at Camp Bestival, me and a couple of friends ended up at the top of Ludworth castle overlooking the whole festival. We werent meant to be up there (cos the roof was literally packed out with fireworks and pyrotechnics for the closing display) but with some very good blagging skills we managed to get to the very top and grab a few selfies.

What was the first festival you went to? Tell us about it.

Its funny because many of the raves we used to go to are the equivalent of the 1 day festivals now, although back then we would never have labelled them festivals they were just normal raves at that time. Parties like Universe / Raindance / World Dance / Perception etc etc the list goes on,, some of the best days of my life (what I can remember anyway).

How did you get into music?

I have loved music from a kid, my Dad was a singer so I was surrounded by it from as far back as I can remember. My older brother Ricky took me to see a few bands as a 15/16 year old then my cousins Jamie and Daniel took me to my first rave when I’d just turned 16 and that was it, I wanted to be a DJ. Now nearly 30 years later I love playing music more than ever.!

What can we expect from your performance / set?

always play with as much energy and passion as I got in me. I like to play fast and for the crowd, especially at festivals. There is always a few curveballs chucked in along the way so even though its mostly Jungle and DnB you never know what might pop up when the time feels right.

Can you sum up your music in 3 words?

Vibes For Miles

Any musical heroes?

I was brought up on some of the real oldskool legends, if I had to pick 3 I’d say John Lennon / Elvis / Freddie Mercury.

Highlight of your career so far?

Probably releasing my autobiography last December (Rave Diaries And Tower Block Tales). I have had some amazing highs from music but to release your life story as a hard back book and to be able to give it to your proud parents and say thank you for everything is way beyond anything I ever dared dream about as a teenager playing records 24/7 in his little tiny bedroom in Dagenham..

CREW Q&A Roisin – Ella’s Assistant

If theres one thing that makes Nozstock the best festival then it has to be our crew. We caught up with Roisin, everybody’s favourite Geordie lass, to get the inside scoop on her 8 years with us at the farm.

What is your role at Nozstock?

My role at Nozstock is… well I’m Ella’s (festival director) assistant but that essentially means keeping her sane, doing french plaits, being a welcoming face and knowing who is who on the crew so I can point people in the right direction/get the best gossip.

What is your most embarassing Nozstock Memory?

Christ. I mean, after working on the farm with the same wrong’uns for eight years there’s basically no shame left. Being woken up on the sofa of the womans toilets by the general public coming into them was pretty bad. Best two hours sleep I had that whole weekend though.

What three things can’t you do Nozstock without

The rest of the crew (literally and emotionally), giant vats of iced coffee and dry shampoo!

When you are not at Nozstock what are you doing?

I make theatre, so I perform and write and direct and work with children and young people alot! They’re my favourite to work with because they’ll tell you if they think somethings rubbish even though I’m in charge.

Favourite Food

Honestly, I love a good side salad.

What is funniest problem you have had to deal with at Nozstock?

A good few years back, I generously offered to help clean out the dressing rooms as it was super late in the game and they needed all the help they could get. However, I left the office and soon realised it was too hot for sweeping and hauling in those little sweat box caravans, so I did what every grown woman in a professional environment does, went to mama noz (Julie) and she said “well you’ve got irish blood in you babe, we’re not built for the heat! Sit yourself down at once sweetie, if anyone asks I’ll say you’re not leaving the office under my orders.”
If in doubt, get a Noz to sort it out.

If you could choose three headliners who would you pick?

Chance The Rapper, Beyonce, Dolly Parton.

If you were a cocktail what would you be and why?

I’d just be a vodka, lime and soda.
Sweet, straight to the point and will get you messy!

Tell us a joke…

This works best in a geordie accent…
I was speaking to this bit of pasta the other day, it was a tube and all covered cheese and spinach. Anyways, I said to him “how are you feeling?” And he says back “eeh, not great. The wife left us the other day and now I’m cannelloni.” CANNELLONI. CANNY LONELY.