The Velveteen Valley

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When the sun goes down and the funny men have retired for the night, the bright lights of the Velveteen Valley sparkle and shine in the Bantam of the Opera. Expect burlesque tongues in cheeks, naughtiness, dreamy dancing and hilarity. Plus, keep your eyes and ears peeled for some super-silly, interactive variety adventures into the wee hours.

*note this is a late night show and is not suitable for children’s ears and eyes*


2017 line up includes…

JOLENE DOVER
Thrilled to be returning to Nozstock this year, your Saturday night host Jolene Dover has been entertaining audiences with her outrageous cabaret for nine years. Her success as a live performer led to ‘When Jolene Met’, a top rating six part series for the Made Television Network in 2015. This was followed in 2016 by a cameo appearance on the BBC One series Casualty. When she’s not performing on stage she is equally at home behind a set of DJ decks as she plays to packed dancefloors of some of the busiest clubs in her home town of Cardiff.
URSULA DARES
Ursula Dares is an excitable bundle of theatrical drama and comedic mayhem. Seeing life through the eyes of her cleverly constructed and mischievously charming characters is a creative cabaret experience not to be missed.
FLOSSIE SMALLS
Flossie Smalls is proof that the best things come in small packages! Hailing from Cardiff, Flossie has performed all over the UK with her sweet and saucy routines that have gained her a reputation for being one of the most innocent burlesque performers around. Most recently she’s been featured at the Dublin Burlesque Festival and the Great Western Burlesque festival with her double award winning act ‘Finding her Feet’. At Nozstock, Flossie will be performing an audience favourite; ‘Cool Cat in Town’ which was created for Miss Pin Up UK 2015 and gained her a place in the final.
JACKIE CLEMENTINES
We are delighted to announce that Jackie Clementines will be performing his new show ‘Fool Bodied’ in Velveteen Valley this year! Fresh back from a year-long European street-show tour this will be a UK premiere for Nozstock 2017. Expect an absurd mixture of juggling, acrobatics and of course danger! He has told us ‘you must break eggs if you want an omelette’ but we are not entirely sure what he means by this…
JESSTICULAR DANCER AND HER HIGHNESS
‘Jessticular Dancer and Her Highness – a melting pot of street dance, pole, blues, burlesque and circus influences, these girls promise a feast for the senses. Costumery inspired by Salvador Dali’s ‘Dreams Of Venus’, you’ll never look at a lobster thermidor the same way again!’
JEWEL PERSONALITY
Jewel Personality is an up and coming performer with fantastic stage presence who oozes confidence, sex-appeal and fun throughout her performances. Preferring to perform acts that are cheeky, funny and reminiscent of Burlesque’s satirical roots, she also has the diversity of performing classic striptease, graceful fan dances or enchanting Isis wing acts.
BACKYARD BINGO
As Jesus fed the 5000, we will bring bingo to the masses. Your nan would hate this. A high-octane performance combined with a hectic game of bingo where sore losers become a thing of the past. With brilliant prizes and an eclectic mix of comedic entertainment, plus three powerfully crass comperes and even smoke machine, this is bingo madness at its best!
ALISTAIR AITCHESON'S INCREDIBLE PLAYABLE SHOW
 An interactive comedy show where the audience is invited on-stage to play video games with unusual physical items! Zap each other with barcode scanners, dance around in WiFi-connected power belts, and join forces to crack fiendish codes. You’ll play Pac-Man with inflatable bananas and prove your strength by becoming the mighty Power Rangers. Everyone in the audience gets to become a part of the experience, be they human buttons or an obstacle course to clamber over. After The Incredible Playable Show you will never look at video games the same way again!
OWEN NIBLOCK
Owen Niblock has been an unprofessional comedian for 14 years. In that time he’s been on the tellybox. Won some competitions. Been on the radio. Invented an artificially intelligent comedy robot. Destroyed the machine and saved the world. Created two children in some crazy experiment that went totally out of control. He tells jokes in a quiet voice with a glint in his eye. He writes his own promo material.
JOANNE JORDAN
This is a playful act, torn between innocent play and adult fun. The act both builds and descends into a drunken spectacle. One hoop, two hoops, three hoops… floor.
KIKI MELLEK
Plastic-fantastic, celeb wannabe Kiki Mellék is a lover of all things fake and fabulous darling! Kiki can’t wait to shake what her surgeon gave her! Maybe this will be her last body modification or maybe she’s just like her mother… she’s never satisfied!

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Previous acts who’ve graced this stage include:  Iris West, Ophelia Bitz, Hotcake Kitty, Florence Fontaine, Owen Niblock and Chris Lynam